Saturday, June 9, 2012

At least it's not herpes.

Aand without an explanation, I just breeze back to my blog like I never left. Hi, there, blog! How YOU doin'?

 My sister turned 40 in May. She's a SMASHbooker. I was looking for something to make that would pertain to both SMASHbooking, the number 40, and her upcoming trip to Europe.

The ladies on Tallyscrapper gave me the idea for 40 handmade SMASHing items. Now. I'm a) impatient and b) really impatient, so no WAY I had the patience to sit down and make 40 of anything. Except cookies. But she can't SMASH those, right? Well, she SHOULDN'T, anyway.

 Anyway, to make a long story short (told you I'm impatient), I made her a whole SLEW of travel and tourist tags for her SMASHbook. When I showed them to the ladies on Tallyscrapper, the suggestion was made that maybe I should SHARE. Lol!

Now, since I don't figure many people need a tag that says "I Pooped in Germany", I got rid of those and adjusted the rest to be NOT European-vacation specific.

 So, here. Take it. Don't tell me I never gave you anything. (I've told you again and again, herpes doesn't count!)

Full size here: BITCHES I LOVE THIS


Full Size here: COOL BEANS

Full size here: BONJOUR BEETCHES

Full size here: CLASSY DRUNK

Enjoy. And upload the shizz you stick 'em to on or I will hunt you down and take them BACK.

Monday, January 16, 2012

I need to test my mojo for herpes

My mojo has being cheating on me.

It's been cold and distant and completely neglectful. Also, it keeps calling me Susan.

This is the only explanation I can come up with for its complete ABSENCE for the past couple of months. I don't know where it's been (probably at SUSAN'S house) but it hasn't been HERE.

So I decided this weekend to take my own advice and just started gluing shizz to other shizz.

And of course, once I decided that, my mojo came knocking. When I answered, it smelled like Susan's perfume and deserved a kick in the balls, but I took it back anyway. After all, it brought me a new hot pink Cutterpede. I'm powerless against new scrappin' supplies, especially hot pink ones. Don't judge me.

After my mojo and I threw some glue sticks at each other for awhile, we had great, sweaty, satisfying make up craft-time. Now I need a cigarette.

these two layouts are thanks to awesome challenges. I love Tallyscrapper. If my home state would legalize it, I would so marry it.

I made some owls for this one. Also, I made the baker's twine using the freakin' sweet baker's twine tutorial over at the Frugal Crafter. Best. Tutorial. Ever.

This layout is about my Becca's best friend. She's living over in the Czech Republic on foreign exchange and I MISS HER SO MUCH WAAAAH! Also, I made those flowers using the technique I blogged about awhile back. Practice makes perfect, which is how in my 37th year, I finally mastered hair removal.

Speaking of hair removal. Hur hur.

See? I so totally worked that mojo 'til it begged for mercy. If I had videotaped it, it'd be rated X. Trust me.

From mothermack scraps

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Doorknob is a funny word.

I don't know why but the word "doorknob" just tickles me. Like when I tell my daughter she's going to be tardy and she thinks THAT'S a funny word. Or when you say pickle over and over until it stops sounding like a word at all.

Christmas is coming and I'll pull out the same dusty old decorations I've had for the past 20 years. I'm a creature of habit...which is why when Mom jeans come back in style, I'll be TRENDY!

Lately, I've been seeing these whimsical-type paper house creations all over Pinterest and Etsy. Some people sell them for more money than I've spent on all my holiday decor COMBINED since 1992 (approximately $21.76).

So, because I love to make myself feel inferior plus "doorknob" is funny, I decided to over-reach my skill and make a doorknob hanger based on those so cute, whimsical creations. Also, because it's the holiday season and I haven't had any new ornaments since ASBESTOS was a main ingredient in the tree topper, I further decided to make it a CHRISTMAS doorknob hanger.

I started with two pieces of cardboard from an old Amazon box:

I stuck 'em together with hot glue and cut 1" strips of Kraft paper to wrap 'em so the ugly corrugated seams wouldn't show:

Then I fronted it with some pretty paper because I believe that pretty paper can make anything better...which is why my husband has a glittery damask paper mask for bedtime. (Ha ha. I kid I kid.)

Then I hadda make the roof. Because the thing is supposed to be all whimsical and whatnot, there are no straight lines on the angles of the roof. So, I had to wrap it using the craft-by-a-thousand-cuts method:

Then, all that was left to do was decorate the thing. I used acrylic paint for the snow and approximately 3.6 pounds of hot glue to hold the whole thing together.

I think it turned out pretty ok. But I really feel I should come clean and let you know that this bad boy put up a fight. If paper could scream, it woulda sounded like I was straight up murderin' someone in my scrap cave today. The project ended up being 2 parts paper, 7 parts hot glue and 2.3 parts BURNED FLESH (see: hot glue).

Now, my scrap cave smells like barbecued pork thanks to the finger burns...but my DOORKNOB sure is cute!

From mothermack scraps

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Things went downhill fast.

I did it...from 9:00 Friday night to 11:00 Saturday night. Now, I'm not real good at math, but even I can tell that that's 26 hours instead of 24. Listen, people. By the time I was done, my face was greasy, my hands were tired, my eyeballs felt like hot little pebbles, and I had two new pimples. That I completed my task in 26 hours is a damn MIRACLE. Scraplift Challenge:

Bon Jovi Song Title Challenge:

Scraplift From My 2nd Favorite Tally Gally:

A Title-less Layout Challenge:

As time ticked away on me, I stopped caring so much. Ok ok. I stopped caring AT ALL, as you can see from the very last layout I did, at 11:00 last night:

Birthday Layout Challenge:

The lesson we can take away from this is that challenges are fun. Also if I'd replaced scrapbook challenges with crack cocaine at 9:00 Friday night, I'd be dead right now.

Thanks for stopping by!

From mothermack scraps

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Feelin' a little woozy!

Alright. I got slightly high-centered on the half-way hump, but I think I broke free without permanently damaging my chassis.

Black & white photo challenge:

Tally Treasure Scraplift Challenge: (see original here:

Oh So Sweet Challenge:

Only 5 more to go. As the day grows long and my skills deteriorate, I'm considering adding Bacardi to the mix. Stay tuned!

From mothermack scraps

Workin' it, yo.

I'm done with the first 5 of 13 Tally challenges. If this was a porn shoot, I'd be starting to chafe!

Dream Job challenge:

LADIES! LOOK AT ALL THAT STAMPING! Ok ok, ignore all the messed up parts, and don't notice that it's, crap.

Number Title challenge:

Red, White & Blue Challenge:

Things My Partner Does That Drives Me Crazy Challenge (G-rated version):

Things I Like Right Now Challenge:

Alright. I'm going back in. Lube, check.

From mothermack scraps

Crafty Death March

Tallyscrapper is the most magnificent scrapbooking website on the whole wide interwebs and that's SCIENCE, people. I love the ladies and the lack of pretension and the wonderful galleries. I love that there's cussing and support and talent. I love that the owner has PINK hair and ATTITUDE.

And I love the challenges. The challenges inject me with oodles of mojo when all mine has squirted outta me. (That's what she said.)

So, in support of my FAVORITE SCRAPPY SITE, this weekend I'm going to abandon all hope of sleep and take scissors and paper in hand. I'm going to get sticky. I'm going to get delirious. I am going to attempt to do 13 Tally challenges in 24 hours.

Stick around. It could get interesting.

From mothermack scraps